Greeting new dogs

Friday, January 28, 2022 | By: Pawtraits by Nicole

Saying hello to a dog you don't know

Unpopular opinion (just don't say hello)

I anticipate plenty of hate for this, but hear me out.  You love dogs and want to say hello to every cute face you see, right?  I mean, it's hard to resist!  It seems to be common, especially when you have a puppy.  But, take a step back and think about who is benefiting from you saying hello to the dog, and are you possibly causing issues for that dog?  

Puppies

You see an adorable puppy picking out a new bone at the store, what do you do?  Ideally, that puppy will walk into the store, confidently experience the automatic door opening, walk past all the humans, carts, and new smells, pick out the best toy or bone, go through the checkout line without anybody asking to interact, head out through the automatic doors, past people, carts, and to the car and into a crate or seat belt with the winning bone. In a perfect world that's is exactly how it would happen. 

Instead, what happens is, everybody wants to pet the cute puppy, and why not?  He's cute, out in public, and needs to meet new people right?  Yes, he's cute and out in public, but no, he does not need to meet new people in this environment.  There is a time and place for meeting people, but that time and place isn't for you to decide.

Why am I being so mean about just petting the cute puppy?

  • Confidence:  Every puppy is different, some may be timid, and being a little thing with kids running up to him or adults hovering over him and reaching down to pet him, can be really scary.  It doesn't matter how much all dogs love you.  This puppy might need space and by going about your business and ignoring the puppy you will be helping to teach this puppy that all the activity around him means nothing and he can ignore it and confidently go on with what he's doing.  If you insist on petting the scared puppy, you will reinforce that the world is scary and people need to be watched because sometimes they are unpredictable and get too close. 
  • No, holding a treat out is not going to make the puppy not scared of you.  The scared puppy will think you're super sketchy!
  • Life skills: Maybe the puppy is all wiggly and waggy hoping you interact with him, obviously not fearful, so it almost feels mean to ignore him.  Ugh and it goes against all that is right.  I know, ouch, I want to pet all puppies too!  But, by petting that adorable wiggly puppy, you'll be teaching it to behave like that (pulling his owner to get to strangers or whatever he wants) when he's full grown.  Again, by ignoring the puppy, you will be contributing so much to the pup's development.  You will allow the owner to focus on the puppy's needs without distractions and also for the puppy to grow confident knowing that all of that activity going on means nothing and he can just pay attention to his human and ignore the noise. This will allow the puppy to grow into an adult that can go places and be a part of his human's daily life without being a nuisance and demanding attention from strangers while dragging his person around.

I know that's hard to take in.  I'm not a puppy hater, I love to play with puppies and would be happy to do that every day.  But it takes a village to raise a puppy and by ignoring that puppy, you are going to make his adult life better.  

Now different scenario:  You are at your friend's house to meet her new puppy. Then, YES!  By all means, get on the floor and let that puppy come up to you and play!  Make sure somebody has their phone ready to snap some photos and videos of the cuteness and enjoy!

Adult Dogs

Training doesn't end with puppyhood.  Dogs are learning every day, even when we aren't actively teaching.  The difference is we have a history of reinforced behaviors allowing a bit more room to mess up on occasion.  I love that my Border Collies love people, but I also love to walk them and have them walk past people and not expect anything to happen other than we continue to walk.  Other dogs may be fearful or aggressive when approached by strangers. So, my opinion for adult dogs is the same as puppies. Just don't.  It's just not necessary to pet a random dog. 

Sorry to be a downer.  But if you must pet a dog, you can pet your dog, or if you don't have one, there are plenty of dogs in town available for adoption.

Since I am an introvert, I might feel differently about this topic than other people.  To learn about greeting dogs from a variety of perspectives, continue through the blog circle starting with Syracuse photographer Nancy Kieffer Photography, who shares her tips for greeting dogs.

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12 Comments

Feb 2, 2022, 10:34:16 AM

Nicole Hrustyk - Thanks, Nancy. It's definitely something I feel strongly about. Our puppies can grow up to be better adults if we just let them. :)

Feb 1, 2022, 9:43:42 PM

Nancy - I'm so glad you included how to "not" handle puppies in your post.

Jan 31, 2022, 10:02:31 AM

Nicole Hrustyk - Right?? They definitely don't need to meet strangers the same day they are learning about new environments and smells. Major overload!

Jan 31, 2022, 10:00:44 AM

Nicole Hrustyk - Thank you!

Jan 30, 2022, 1:27:16 PM

Holly - I am in total agreement with all of this! I wish more people understood how puppies learn and process information. It is SO hard not to pet a puppy, but it is up to us, the humans, to create a safe space for the pup. If we get in his/her space, it's no longer safe. Thank you for writing this!

Jan 30, 2022, 1:23:22 PM

Darlene - Completely agree! Even I have lost self control around a new PUPPY! It's a challenge :) Puppy pics are adorable!

Jan 28, 2022, 2:03:31 PM

Nicole Hrustyk - It's so hard!

Jan 28, 2022, 1:30:01 PM

Elaine - You are so right about the whole puppy thing. I normally need interventions when it comes to puppies, but I honestly do hold back every time when I see a puppy out and about with its owner. Great post!

Jan 28, 2022, 10:11:20 AM

Nicole Hrustyk - Thank you!

Jan 28, 2022, 9:44:39 AM

Terri - Those puppy pictures! Adorable

Jan 28, 2022, 9:42:44 AM

Nicole Hrustyk - Oh my gosh, yes, this just got me thinking about all the things I forgot to mention! Oh well, this isn't a book, so better that I forgot. haha

Jan 28, 2022, 6:22:53 AM

Tracy Allard - Yes! This! Puppies can be so emotionally fragile in their first few weeks of life and they have to deal with an onslaught of well-meaning humans who want to lift them off the ground (hey, that's scary), put their face close to theirs (yikes!) and roughhouse (encouraging over-the-top behavior in a little furry velociraptor). Great job in encouraging people to control themselves around puppies!

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